I am talking today directly to Business Leaders and Business Owners.
If you are experiencing Imposter Syndrome chances are that there are times when you feel lonely.
Maybe some of the time, maybe all of the time.
Despite of being surrounded by people all the time.
Despite of having a great group of friends.
Despite of having a partner.
Despite of having children.
Despite of being busy all the time.
Feeling lonely comes with a lot of shame.
With a lot of self-judgement.
It’s embarrassing to admit that we’re feeling lonely, especially when we see how amazingly well our friends are doing on social media.
You might have read my article about my challenges with loneliness.
Despite of me being married for 25 years, having a very close relationship with my family and having incredibly deep and authentic friendships I am extremely grateful for.
But today I don’t want to talk about me.
I want to talk about YOU.
If you’re experiencing loneliness despite of having everything that “should” make you feel connected and content – I am writing this article directly for you.
You matter to me because I know how you feel and I would love to give you a hug even if you would probably tell me you don’t need it. You don’t want to come across as vulnerable or needing help.
You are probably the one who always helps others.
OK – I will hold off with the hug for now????.
Imposter Syndrome is a reflection of how we see ourselves.
Imposter Syndrome is only a result / a product / an outcome of our internal world. Of our beliefs about ourselves.
If you understand the above two sentences and they resonate you’re reaching a very important point in your self-awareness. This article is for you.
If you think the above sentences are a lot of BS or you simply don’t know what they mean – this article is not for you just yet and it’s OK. X
But back to Imposter Syndrome and Loneliness.
Imposter Syndrome is all about masking how we really feel.
It’s all about pretending we are something we think we should be but we don’t believe we really are it.
It’s a constant theater.
It’s waking up in the morning, putting a costume on and getting on the stage.
Playing the role to keep our job in the play.
Depending on our internal script, we might play
a confident character, (that used to be my role)
an angry character,
a character who hides in the corner,
a rescuer who constantly tries to be there for everyone else,
a bully who thinks that if she/he yells at people will gain respect,
a character who pretends to be humble but secretly craves acknowledgement,
a people pleaser,
Roles are endless.
It’s only natural that if there is a disconnect between how we truly feel and who we portray to be when we get on the stage of our workplaces and businesses – loneliness creeps in.
People know your character but they don’t know YOU.
And that’s a lonely place to be living from.
It’s also exhausting.
Sometimes to the point of experiencing anxieties, panic attacks, nervous breakdowns, depression.
It’s exhausting to keep the act up.
Just because we feel that
….if I showed them who I really am
they would not accept me.
They would not want me here.
They would not approve of me.
They would not respect me.
They would not love me….
You’re experiencing loneliness because you have lost the sight of who you are and how amazing you are EXACTLY as you are.
You don’t believe you are worthy of people’s attention purely just for who you are.
It’s never a conscious decision.
We don’t wake up and say to ourselves “You know what, let’s start pretending I’m someone else from now on.” It’s a subconscious gradual manifestation of us wanting to protect ourselves from being hurt.
THE REAL QUESTION IS
Do you believe you are worthy of your own love exactly as you are?
Do you see your own greatness?
Do you love yourself when you are alone with yourself?
Because THAT’S the real loneliness you are experiencing.
You can be surrounded by millions of friends, your family, partner, and children but if you yourself don’t accept yourself for who you are the loneliness will forever stay there.
I LOVE YOU.
And I am not saying this flippantly.
I am not saying this because it is “in” to talk about self-love, love and personal development.
I am saying this because I’ve been on my journey of reconnecting with myself for years.
I’ve been through the pain, fear of facing my own emotions, seeing my internal beliefs which led me to being disconnected from myself.
I am still on that journey. Good days and trying days.
Life throws things at me just to test how far I have come on my journey.
And I have to smile, often saying – here we go, the next layer is ready to be uncovered????.
The difference these days is that I hold myself with compassion and love instead of beating myself up.
Acceptance brings peace and opens up the space for further exploration.
Today – I EMBRACE my loneness when it pays me a visit because it’s trying to tell me something.
So I listen.
Whether you are my coaching client who works on overcoming Imposter Syndrome with me or we’re only connected virtually – I will leave you with this invitation.
Please stop and reflect on
- what’s your relationship with yourself before you start looking at your outside relationships?
- what’s the way you talk to yourself in your head?
- how do you feel when you are in your own company? Can you simply BE with yourself without doing anything?
Imposter Syndrome brings loneliness because you are disconnected from yourself.
Wherever you are on your own journey
I see you,
I hold you,
I love you.
Just how I see, hold and love myself. Even if it sometimes sucks.
And why am I talking especially to the Business Leaders and Business Owners?
Because we have an impact on so many other lives.
But it all starts with us…
Have the most amazing weekend and you know that I am here as your Imposter Syndrome coach. Reach out.