Hello my friend,
When we say self-love – what comes to your mind?
Really. Take a second to give it a thought. What is self-love to you?
It took me a while to feel comfortable with the concept of self-love, probably because it didn’t make any sense to me. “Is it having a massage once a week, cheering myself up with a new pair of shoes when I feel down or what do they mean by self-love?”
Self-love might sound selfish. We might feel like we should not be giving ourselves so much attention. We should just get on with life, look at how we can help others – not ourselves.
I had a total emotional block when it came to paying attention to how I felt. To listening to what was asking to be heard. I completely ignored any signs that my body was giving me or anxieties that were coming up. My concept of self-love was to push through and stay ‘strong’.
I see a lot of that. When I ask a question: ‘How do you take care of yourself?’, the answer is often vague or I get the usual standard kind of answer – I go for a walk, I spend time with my friends, I eat healthy, etc. There is nothing wrong with those answers but somehow they feel like they are not the real answers, they are sentences we hear in YouTube videos and they get stuck in our heads as something we should do. And say when asked.
We all have our journeys and we all have different timing. Thanks God. We discover things, feelings, emotions, signs when we are ready. Life is clever like that, you see. Unfolding.
For me personally, after a few years of inquiring into what self-love means, I’ve realised that self-love (to me) means a total acceptance of who I am. With all my flaws, mood swings, anxieties, doubts, fears, all of it. Without the need to change anything because I ‘should’ be a certain way. These days, I know when I am practicing self-harm instead of self-love. I simply don’t feel good. It really is as simple as that. The trick is to catch it, pay attention to it and ask what is off and why? And listen.
Don’t take me wrong, sometimes I wish I was this perfectly sophisticated, gentle female creature, spreading eternal light, eating healthy stuff, exercising regularly, taking care of my body and spirit more and then I stop and realise that it feels completely alien and say to myself, “Fuck it, let’s have another doughnut.”
Because you know what, we are all perfect exactly as we are. And THAT’S self-love to me.
Have a great day.